I Only Drink Water After Brewery

Lightweight, breathable, and printed with a hydration philosophy that would horrify any doctor — this white crewneck tee stacks bold black block lettering explaining exactly how loose the definition of "water" has gotten. Soft ring-spun cotton and a classic fit make it comfortable for anyone who considers beer a lifestyle choice, not a beverage.

Product features - 100% ring-spun cotton (lightweight 153 g/m²) for a soft, comfortable feel - Tubular knit with no side seams for a cleaner look and less fabric waste - Ribbed knit collar for shape retention and stability - Pearlized tear-away label for itch-free comfort; adult sizes only - DTG/DTF-printed artwork with Oeko-Tex certified, ethically sourced materials

Care instructions - Do not dryclean - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam or dry: low heat - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors

Snarkasm - Where Empathy Ends and Sarcasm Begins