{"product_id":"2-inch-grip-8-inch-turd","title":"2 Inch Grip 8 Inch Turd","description":"\u003cp\u003eLightweight, breathable, and printed with zero apologies — this crewneck tee is for the days when a compliment just won't cut it. Bold, hand-lettered text runs sideways down the front, delivering the kind of insult that lands better than anything you could've said out loud. No graphics, no filler — just the line itself, front and center, doing all the talking. Soft ring-spun cotton and a classic fit make it comfortable enough to wear while you plot your next comeback. Subtle pearlized tear-away label and reinforced shoulder tape keep the shirt feeling smooth and looking crisp after many wears. If your love language is a well-timed roast, this tee belongs in your closet.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features - 100% ring-spun cotton (lightweight 153 g\/m²) for a soft, comfortable feel - Tubular knit with no side seams for a cleaner look and less fabric waste - Ribbed knit collar with shoulder tape for shape retention and stability - Pearlized tear-away label for itch-free comfort; adult sizes only - DTG\/DTF-printed artwork with Oeko-Tex certified, ethically sourced materials\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions - Do not dryclean - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam or dry: low heat - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSnarkasm - Where Empathy Ends and Sarcasm Begins\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XS","offer_id":64452088070513,"sku":"14980324552363534190","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":64452088103281,"sku":"15968561947027199671","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":64452088136049,"sku":"32990774592867529382","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":64452088168817,"sku":"25251995431891576029","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":64452088201585,"sku":"31312236182002045371","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":64452088234353,"sku":"16158517369148298077","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":64452088267121,"sku":"15852421391467160630","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":64452088299889,"sku":"32728242422209605370","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":64452088332657,"sku":"27692472111704335139","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":64452088365425,"sku":"18613373499748103686","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":64452088398193,"sku":"10806977958348923199","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":64452088430961,"sku":"22211158286792317514","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":64452088463729,"sku":"21682833756498658149","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":64452088496497,"sku":"33455547369501723984","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":64452088529265,"sku":"18703471912485650327","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":64452088562033,"sku":"31215918317384668532","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":64452088594801,"sku":"27696432421509702268","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":64452088627569,"sku":"29100409823481204533","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":64452088660337,"sku":"56044045703526148469","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":64452088693105,"sku":"25596754449281645689","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0963\/4254\/0657\/files\/20260822092310-1f19e0b1-7b88-6338-93ab-4a8ce2b8ecb8.png?v=1787390635","url":"https:\/\/snarkasm-2.myshopify.com\/products\/2-inch-grip-8-inch-turd","provider":"Snarkasm","version":"1.0","type":"link"}